Goo Goo Gah Gah
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: A baby had accidentally been produced on Stork Mountain. Now Tulip and Junior had to decide what to do with it.
**Goo Goo Gah Gah**

"Oh she's so cute! Does she have a name?"

"Well, I'm thinking 'Goo' or 'Gah.'"

"Huh?"

"Well, her first words were goo goo gah gah. I mean, what would you call a baby?"

Tulip bit her lip and remained silent. Junior looked like he wanted to say something but Goo, a.k.a. Gah, was playing with his wings.

"Don't-"

He let out a yelp as a white feather was drawn outwards, followed by a series of squawks, a series of giggles from the baby, and the sight of the feather drifting through the air to land on a now inactive conveyer belt. Once, in Tulip's living memory, Stork Mountain had produced babies by the bucket load. "One born every minute" was how the saying went, back in the days were babies were delivered by storks rather than doctors. Now…she sighed, partly as Junior struggled to contain Goo/Gah and keep the remains of his wings intact. Now they were employees of Cornerstore dot com, delivering packages rather than babies.

"Tulip! A little help!"

She took the baby into her arms. On one of the last days of Stork Mountain's original operation, she'd found herself holding babies by the handful, risking life and limb to make sure Stork Mountain's operation went uninterrupted. It had been part of a PR show by a salesman, and it had cost the company time, money, and nearly her job. Packages were much easier to handle, but still…

"Tulip?"

"Hmm?" She looked at Junior, even as the baby took a sudden interest in her hair.

"I asked what we're going to do."

"I…huh?"

"A baby Tulip, a baby!" Junior exclaimed, throwing his wings around. "The baby maker isn't meant to be activated! Cornerstone doesn't deliver babies, it delivers…um…"

"Anything and everything," Tulip said, repeating the company's motto.

"Exactly!"

 _Apparently 'anything' and 'everything' doesn't include babies._

"I mean, if management finds out…if the boss knows…" He clicked his fingers. Which Tulip had no idea how he did so, since he didn't have fingers, but then again, she was talking with a giant stork over the subject of artificially created babies. She'd learnt to accept a lot of things.

"We dump it," he said.

"What?"

"Dump it. Let it run free in the wild! Return it to its natural habitat! We-"

"No!" Tulip yelled, and the baby started crying. "Oh look, you've upset Googah."

"Googah?"

"Yeah, that's her name, Googah." Tulip began lifting her up and down. "Don't worry little Googah, Junior's not going to let you go."

"Course not. You're holding her."

Tulip tried to hand Googah over. Junior let out a squawk and perched on a lever.

"I'd be careful if I were you."

"Why?" Junior asked. "Will the production line get messed up again? Look around Tulip, there is no production! And you know why there's no production? Because Stork Mountain doesn't make babies anymore!"

Googah tried reaching for another lever, and Tulip drew her back. She'd nearly killed half a dozen babies in that little…booboo, a few years back. She wasn't going to have an actual death on her conscience.

 _So what do we do then?_

Googah couldn't stay. If management found out, she'd probably be taken down to the faulty products division. And…Tulip suppressed a shudder. She knew what that was like.

"This is great, just great," Junior said. "I accidently make a baby. I could get fired. Plus I've got my delivery route next week and-"

A lightbulb went on above Tulip's head. And she smiled. Firstly because that lightbulb was meant to be dead, and it would save her having to replace it. Secondly, she had an idea.

"Delivery," she murmured. "Junior, that's it! We deliver her!"

"Huh?"

"We go out into the world! We leave Stork Mountain, find Googah some parents, and-"

"Whoa, whoa!" Junior exclaimed. "We can't just take out a baby and give her to some people!"

"Why not? You wanted to dump her earlier?"

"But that's different. Do you know what it's like to make a delivery when the buyer isn't the actual buyer? All the hassle, all the abuse, all the paperwork? I mean, I-"

Tulip shoved Googah into Junior's wings, and like a chicken, he let out a squawk. "Junior, you're finding Googah a home, and that's final!"

"Tulip-"  
"Final!" She picked up her mop, and felt something inside her. Something that stemmed from Googah's eyes meeting hers. Eyes filled with tears, and the uncertainty of youth. Or maybe it was because she'd missed her tea break. She began to walk off.

"Um, Tulip?" Junior asked. "Are you-"

"You're finding her some parents Junior," Tulip said. She placed her mop in a bucket of water, filled with dirt, grime, and a few tears. "And that's final."

"Oh yeah? And what makes you think that's better than handing her off here?"

"Because I was."

She looked back at Junior. Googah had fallen silent. And the stork holding her looked petrified. She began to laugh.

"Oh yeah," she murmured. "Did you ever wonder why I'm the only human on Stork Mountain?"

"I…I assumed you took the job, and-"

"I was raised here," Tulip said. "I came out of the same baby maker as Googah." She sighed, and took a seat, resting the mop over her trousers. "No parents wanted me – Stork Mountain tailors every baby exactly as they're meant to be. That means mistakes aren't allowed." She grunted. "A mistake. That's all I was. I was allowed to stay, get a job. Helped babies get to parents that had actually ordered them."

She held the mop in her hands. For a moment, wondering what it would be like to be held by someone close to you. Or held by anyone at all. To actually be delivered. Finally, she looked upwards.

"Find her a home Junior," she said. "For me, if nothing else."

Junior looked like he wanted to say something. But a look of disgust came over his face. And Tulip understood immediately.

"Tulip, I think she's-"

"Number one," she said, taking Googah in her arms. "Happens sometimes."

"It…what?"

"Don't worry, I'll clear it up." She walked off with the baby, trailing her mop and bucket beside her. "After all, cleaning up is what I do."

She reminded herself that this wasn't over. That after finding a new diaper for Googah, Junior would be sent out to find her a home. And that he wouldn't come back until that was done.

And then she'd get on with work. Help keep the deliveries running.

Help people get what they wanted.


End file.
